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Book 1
"Book 1" is the first book in an undefined number of "Books" published by ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT on BC-Chat at Brown College at the University of Virginia. "Book 1" has seven chapters in it, yet only six of the chapters are labeled with numbers. The chapter without a number, ".", is out of chronological order with the rest and seems to serve as a backstory for the rest of the "book." The chapters are one page pdf files that were sent to BC-Chat individually over the course of two months. The order the chapters were released are as follows: "1." "2." "3." "4." "." "5." "6." "Book 1" is known for having strange wording and using the font "Playfair Display" at 12. It is also distinct through the use of quotation marks for dialogue and having a title at the top of each chapter except for ".". Summary: Tildeñ is seen in Tucker lounge and then the story seems to go back in time to explain why he was sleeping there. Tildeñ tells Shia Lebouf that he needs to leave his room, which was a bathroom. Shia left through the toilet stating that he had a meeting with "Rat." Rami then entered and asked if he could pee, Tildeñ replied stating that he had to take a "Shia," and then filled the toilet up with potatoes. The chapter ends with Tildeñ waking up and going to class the next day. Węś walked through Newcomb dining hall looking for something to eat and spotted a McDonald's looking guy who gives him burritos. Only after eating one, Węś is told the burritos are actually asleep and intoxicated squirrels wrapped in corn tortilla. Węś was happy with the food and took it to Squirrelcabra in the hidden tunnels of Peters. Squirrelcabra did not like that Węś was feeding it baby "mesas" and began to attack Węś' hair. Shia then appeared from a pipe and attacked Squirrelcabra after stating he had met with "Rat." Węś then ran away. GREGØRY CØNNEEN woke up wanting to give cookies and attempted to let people know by sending an email out to BC-Chat. Węś then came from the toilet and left a squirrel burrito in the cookie box and left, which made GREGØRY go to Smith to make more. Once there GREGØRY faced off against jordån mollèr and they threw burnt cookies at each other before the ceiling broke and ïrena rode in on a wave of vodka. The chapter ended with Tildeñ seeing the email on his phone. Çhristopher Hàll left the concert and met Wìl MCLaughlin’ in Tucker lounge, who asked if xe would like to "kill zombois." Çhris stated he wanted to get his "capris" and then went back to his room where he found GNat and Węś wearing one leg of the "capris" each. When asked how they could fit into the "capris", GNat and Węś stated it was because they were similar and shared a third testicle. Wìl arrived and shot at GNęś which split them and then GNat's glasses popped out of the testicle portal with Tildeñ on them. The Tunnels are seen alone and forgotten when Almighty speaks to Tunnels and gives Tunnels the gift of life. Tildeñ and Åaqįl appear holding the baby form of ƨuƨɘႱ and they place ƨuƨɘႱ inside the door of the Tunnels which closes. The door opens with a fully grown ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT and twelve others. One of the others was Shia, so him and Tildeñ go back to Tildeñ's room and become concerned when a pipe breaks and releases ƨoƚƨɘdƨA lɘnnuT. Weeks pass and ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT is seen tied up by Kعäи, ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT tells him that he will pay. More weeks pass and yɿɒM discovers that ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT body was gone and that, "He is risen." Maom tries to talk to J¤hn JJ Grencer but then dies. J¤hn is transported to see a giant statue of Marx and then Squirrelcabra sees that J¤hn only has 300 years to live. J¤hn then wakes up in Tucker and notices that the brownie competition is going on and gets mad about it, but runs back to his room to find icing for Tildeñ. When he gets back to his room, J¤hn finds that Węś is there wanting to sleep with ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT. Steam shuts the door and Węś screams, "nice." Tildeñ sends an email out about tea and then the story goes back to explain why he was sending the email. Tildeñ and Åaqįl are seen fighting Kعäи and Tildeñ grabs him and takes him into a hidden tunnel into the hidden Engles lounge. Ændÿ MčMæhoń is found there staring into a fire which Tildeñ throws Kعäи into. Squirrelcabra accepts Kعäи as a sacrifice and announces that Ændÿ is the Shadow Poob. The story then goes to a Shadow Govboard meeting where Tildeñ talks about removing Kعäи and offering tea. After taking attendance Mäж screams which causes the McDonald looking guy to come in telling everyone to be quiet before revealing he is actually Squirrelcabra. Then Squirrelcabra becomes Steam and wafts back to the Tunnels to meet with the other ten Tunnel-postles. ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT discusses the betrayal by Kعäи and that Tapeman will take his place. ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT then states that ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT must go back to Almighty and that they must be his eyes in order for the TRUTH to continue to be told. Before ascending ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT warns the Tunnel-postles that other things than Steam live in the Tunnels and they are bad things. "END BOOK 1" Credits ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT Tildeñ Węś Squirrelcabra Shia Lebouf Tunnel Яat Steam Tunnels Rami GREGØRY CØNNEEN jordån mollèr ïrena Çhristopher Hàll Wìl MCLaughlin GNat GNęś Almighty Åaqįl Kعäи yɿɒM lɘnnuT Fred Weed Mother Teresa Bobert the janitor Papa John Tucker Buddha Tina of the Fey ƨoƚƨɘdƨA lɘnnuT J¤hn JJ Grencer maom Ændÿ MčMæhoń Pátяزсk McᏣిяmزсk Mäж Tapeman Deaths ƨuƨɘႱ lɘnnuT Kعäи